You were caught red-handed and hurt the person you love.

You thought you were controlling how much porn you were watching. You thought that a little flirting was harmless and that getting a massage with a “happy ending” every now and then wasn’t a big deal. But now your partner knows and you feel sick to your stomach. The hurt in their eyes was unmistakable and they just turned away and cried.

You feel awful but porn and masturbation have been part of your life since you were a teen. It used to be just a way to pass time when you were bored but now, it’s about the only time you can feel some relief from all the pressures and expectations on you. Only thing is, now you get so caught up in the euphoria of chasing sexual fantasies that hours will pass without notice and you have taken your fantasies outside the boundaries of your relationship.

Now you’re probably scared too. Afraid that the one person you love is going to leave you. You haven’t done anything illegal, but it’s really hard to be honest about everything when the truth hurts those you care about.

The truth is that the problem is not as insurmountable as it seems.

No doubt about it, changing unwanted behavior is hard work. Working out relationship struggles is hard work. But I am passionate in my desire to help men and women who struggle with compulsive sexual behaviors renew their ability to make healthy life choices for themselves and those they love.

I can help you build a toolkit of new habits and changes to get your life back on track. We will talk about challenging the way you think and help quiet that harsh inner voice. We will talk about true self-care and self-compassion as essential ingredients in handling life stressors and living a more balanced life. We will work on finding your strengths that will give you freedom, a renewed sense of purpose and an ability to really connect in your relationships.

Ok, I know what you’re thinking - maybe “addiction” is too strong a word. You might be right, but you won’t know for sure until you start getting help. Even if it’s not an addiction, it’s affecting your relationship and something has to change.

If you are ready to work on letting go of those behaviors that have been hurting you and those you care about, give me a call to set up a free, 15-minute consultation. CSAT therapist providing counseling in Cary, NC and online therapy within North Carolina.